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Aquanoid - MS-DOS

Aquanoid2.txt My colleagues at work often question my taste for movies: they can't understand why I'm wasting my time defending a low-budget horror movie when I can watch the latest blockbuster to wow the crowds at the local multiplex. After seeing the Aquanoids, I start to wonder why I'm getting tired. Set on a small island off the coast of California, Aquanoids stars Laura Nativo as Vanessa, a beautiful diver who, after being attacked by a hideous fish-man, tries to warn the inhabitants of the dangers lurking in the surrounding waters. This upsets the disgusting island officials, who fear Vanessa will scare away tourists and thwart plans to build a shopping complex. A tacky mishmash of stolen topics and ideas such as Jaws, Humanoids from the Deep, and Creature from the Black Lagoon, Aquanoids are absolutely terrible in just about every possible way: the direction is clumsy and amateur; the script is childish, poorly written and very unoriginal; editing shows no trace of restraint, using every possible fade, wipe and split screen effect; the monster's makeup and blood are cheap and funny; special effects are unconvincing; and acting is equally horrible. Even some welcome female nudity can't stop it from completely wasting my time. While watching this pathetic mess, I noticed that one character is named McClure while another is named Bruce - possible references to actor Doug McClure (from Humanoids From The Deep) and Bruce the Shark (from Jaws). There is also a scene where several characters discuss their favorite watery monster movies, including Deep Star Six, Leviathan, Tentacles, Alligator 2, and Roger Corman. This leads me to conclude that the creators of Aquanoid are true fans of B-horror movies and movies. If that is the case, then those involved should hang their heads in shame for adding this fatal addition to the genre for us.